I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
