i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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