Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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