Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
