Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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