I got chris browned last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
