just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
