i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
