Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
