if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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