Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
