Your dad touched me again.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
