Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize