You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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