I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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