I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
