Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Rumble strips road head = magical
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
