She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
