I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
