GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
