I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
