I wish I could punch you in the face.
She said her name was "party"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
