We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
