I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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