hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
