you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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