at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
