remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
