the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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