She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
