bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I touched a dick in church today
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize