its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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