I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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