Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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