This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
