I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
