1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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