Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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