Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize