john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
