I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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