She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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