Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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