'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
