Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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