it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
