So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
