kristin has been a bad kristin
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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