And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize