Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
