so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
