If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
