i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
