dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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