she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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