but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
