winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
