Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
