Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
