wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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