Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize