Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
