I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
