ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
