how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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