Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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