Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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